The Refusals
by APRoberts
Summary: How many different ways can one girl say no? A record of some of Lily's finest refusals. 28 and counting. Rated for one small little swear word.
1. So what if she says no? Just ask again

Disclaimer: I own nothing! It all belongs to JKRowling.

A/N: This is just some randomness that came to me one day. Yesterday actually. I wondered how many different ways Lily would say no to James. Then I decided to write some of them out. J- stands for James and L- stands for Lily. I know this is not original but that's okay with me. I had fun writing it out and I wanted to share it. Love it. Hate it. Burn it. At least it's out there.

* * *

**(Outside the Castle during a snow flurry)**

**J- Oi, Evans! Go out with me!**

**L- It's too warm Potter.**

**J- What's that suppose to mean?**

**L- Hell hasn't frozen over yet.**

* * *

J- Evans, go out with me and I might let you kiss me. 

L- I don't do well with threats Potter.

* * *

**J- Just give in and go out with me Evans. You know you want to.**

**L- I want to go out with you as much as I want to die. Meaning its the last thing I want to do.**

* * *

(In the common room) 

J- Evans!You, me, broom closet, now!

L- Potter! You, broom, up your arse, now!

* * *

**(By the Lake)**

**J- Evans, I heard that the giant squid turned you down. Guess that means you're going to Hogsmeade with me.**

**L- Actually Potter. We have a very nice picnic planned. I guess that means you get to go to Hogsmeade all by yourself.**

* * *

J- Evans... 

L- Go away Potter. The answer is no.

J- But you don't even know what I was going to say.

L- Alright, what were you going to say?

J- Go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend.

L- Wow Potter, you're right. That does change my response.

J- It does?

L- Oh yeah. Instead of the answer being no, it's now drop dead.

* * *

**(After being partnered together in class)**

**J- We work so well together in class.**

**L- I guess.**

**J- Do you know where else we would work well together?**

**L- In your dreams?**

* * *

(Shouted across the Great Hall) 

J- Evans! Go out with me and I won't prank the Slytherins today!

L- And let Sirius get ahead in the detention poll? Never!

* * *

**(In notes)**

**J-  
My Dearest Lily Flower,  
Would you be so kind as to accompany me to Hogsmeade this weekend?  
Yours Always  
James Potter**

**L-  
My Hated Potter,  
I am disinclined to acquiest to your request. And if you want to keep the ability to have children, never call me Lily Flower again.  
Never Yours  
Lily Evans**

* * *

(Again in Notes) 

J-  
Lily Flower  
I know you don't mean that. I'll meet you outside the Great Hall at midday Saturday.  
Your Devoted  
James Potter

L-  
Potter,  
Do you really want to test that theory?  
Evans

* * *

**J- Evans, I love you.**

**L- Potter, I hate you.**

* * *

J- Go out with me Evans. 

L- I'll go out with you when Professor McGonagall admits to liking Professor Dumbledore as more than a friend or colleague.

* * *

**J- Tiger Lily, go to Hogsmeade with me?**

**L- (looks up at the sky) Sorry Potter, but I just don't see any flying pigs.**

* * *

J- Evans. Hogsmeade. You. Me. Together. 

L- Potter, here's a knut. Go and by yourself a life.

* * *

**J- Go out with me.**

**L- And risk someone finding out?**

* * *

J- Evans, this is the most asked question and I need to have an answer, will you go out with me? 

L- And the top three most given answers to this question are: No, Never, and Not a chance.

* * *

**J- The astronomy tower awaits us milady.**

**L- No, the weather isn't right for it.**

* * *

J- Be my Valentine? 

L- No, not now. Ask me again in a couple million years.

* * *

**(During class)**

**J- I see you have a pen and parchment. Make a note. Date with James this weekend. Don't be late.**

**L- I see you have a pen and parchment too. Write this down. NO.**

* * *

(In the second floor corridor) 

J- I hear Moaning Myrtle haunts the prefects bathroom at this time of night. Do you want check out her cubical together?

L- Oh. Look at the time. I have to go help Hagrid feed Fluffy.

* * *

**(Common room after curfew)**

**J- Wanna sneak out to the kitchens?**

**L- I'll pass.**

* * *

(On the way to see a quidditch match between two other houses) 

J- Will you sit with me Lily?

L- Not today, not tomorrow, but I think I might have time in a couple thousand years.

* * *

**J- I've got the perfect day set up for this weekend. First stop Madam Puddifoot's, then a stroll to the shrieking shack, the back to Madam Puddifoot's for lunch, then a carriage ride back to Hogwarts. Just you and me. What do you say? Join me?**

**L- I'd rather eat my sister's mystery meat casserole.**

* * *

J- If you were my girlfriend Evans, you could sit and watch me play exploding snap with my friends all night long. 

L- Gee Potter, I'm already maxed out on fun stuff. I'm getting my teeth pulled. I don't think my heart could handle watch you play with your friends as well.

* * *

**J- Evans, I'm going to take you higher than you've ever been.**

**L- Sorry Potter I don't do drugs.**

**J- I meant on a broom.**

**L- I'm allergic to heights.**

* * *

J- Quick there's a closet free over there. 

L- You must be mistaking me for an idiot, Potter.

* * *

**J- Go out with me Evans and I'll never bug you again.**

**L- Your very existence bugs me Potter.**

* * *

J- Evans, I'm going to be nice and let you kiss me. But just this once, don't think you can make a habit of it. 

L- How do they say "no" on your planet Potter? Better yet, how do they say "dream on"?

* * *

A/N: So that's it for now. If you want more, then review and tell me you want more. I'll probably add more even if only one person asks. I just thought this was getting rather long. And I didn't want to punish people with several chapters of these if they don't like it. 


	2. It never hurts to ask, right?

A/N: As per, strangely popular request, here are some more refusals. I've also re-uploaded chapter one. So thank you SweetSouthernGal for catching those typos. My spell check doesn't seem to like that word.

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything... I wish I did. I really wish I did... maybe then I could get away with just working one job. As is, I work two and write in my sleep.

A/N#2:S is for Sirius, R is for Remus, P is for Peter and E is for Emily. Once again L is Lily and J is James.

A/N#3: I know this is quite a bit shorter than last time but as mentioned in my disclaimer, I have two jobs and can only find time to write when I should be sleeping. (God bless coffee)

J- Lily Flower...

L- Raises eyebrow

J- Maybe next time.

* * *

**S- Lily, Babe, Sweetheart, Goddess Divine**

**L- What do you want Sirius?**

**S- You and I both have a problem and his name is James. You see, James won't stop talking about you and it's getting rather difficult to plan any good pranks. That's my problem...**

**L- And my problem is that you and Potter don't understand the meaning of no. So why don't you get a dictionary, look it up, then tell Potter to stop sending you on impossible tasks.**

* * *

P- Lily, James... 

L- Do you have a death wish Pettigrew?

P- I'll tell him the answer is no.

* * *

**J- comes up behind Lily and puts his arm around her shoulder**

**L- ****I take it you don't want your arm anymore?**

* * *

J- I don't have any plans for Hogsmeade this weekend. 

L- Really? Thats great! Could you be outside of Honeydukes at 11?

J- I'll meet you there!

L- Oh I won't be there. But Emily's younger brother will be. He's in third year and his friend is sick. He doesn't want to go to Hogsmeade by himself. For some strange reason he actually likes you. So this would really make his weekend.

* * *

**R- James wants to know if you'll go out with him.**

**L- What do you think Remus?**

**R- I think that the answer is no.**

**L- I think you're right.**

**R- You know he's not going to stop asking anytime soon don't you?**

**L- Unfortunately**

* * *

J- Singing very off-key She is so beautiful to me. She is so beautiful to me. Lily's everything I hoped for. Yes, she's everything I need... 

L- Silencio

* * *

**(In the Library where Lily is studying)**

**J- Lily...**

**L- No.**

**J- But...**

**L- No.**

**J- Come on.**

**L- No.**

**J- I'll keep on asking until you say yes.**

**L- I'll keep on refusing until you get a clue.**

* * *

J- Go out with me, Evans. 

L- No.

J- Why not?

L- You mean the most intelligent person in the universe doesn't know something? I'm surprised. I'm astounded. I don't actually care.

J- I'm serious. I want to know.

L- Ask Remus. He's probably figured it out.

* * *

**J- Evans?**

**L- Yes, Potter?  
**

**J- You mean you'll go out with me?!**

**L- No.**

**J- Oh. :(**

**(Poor James. Unfortunately I don't plan on ending his misery anytime soon. I'm having too much fun with this.)**

* * *

J- Evans, do you want to play a game with me? 

L- What kind of game?

J- I ask you questions and you have to answer with the first thing that comes to mind.

L- Alright. That sounds like fun actually.

J- Great! First question. What's your favourite colour?

L- Blue.

J- Whose your best friend?

L- Emily.

J- What's your favourite subject?

L- Charms

J- What's your favourite food?

L- Tuna.

J- Is chocolate a food group?

L- Yes.

J- Is your name Lily?

L- Yes.

J- Will you go out with me?

L- No.

J- Damn.

* * *

**J- You know Emily, if I were to date Lily, you could hang out with me every day.**

**E- Is that suppose to be a good thing?**

**J- Did Lily tell you to say that?**

**E- If she did would that change your mind about her?**

**J- No, I'd still want her.**

**E- Then, no she didn't. And no I will not put in a good word for you.**

* * *

A/N#4: Now this little chicky is heading to bed. So good-night. Enjoy. If I find more time and have more inspiration, I'll write more. If not, well this stands by itself pretty well so I'm not too worried about it. Buh Bye everyone! And thank you to everyone who review, they were muchly appreciated. E-Hugs for everyone! 


	3. Aren't death threats a good thing?

**A/N: This is the last of them, I swear. I was just on break at work and they came to me. Had my co-workers laughing at least. And no I don't know where they came from. Also I know that it's short. I'm sorry. I was waiting until I had some more, but they just aren't coming. If they do come, I will just re-upload this chapter. Also I'm sorry if they seem similar. I am picturing the scenes slightly differently each time. And the way they are being said are different too.  
**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own them. I still wish I did. Unfortunately I didn't write the script known as reality. Therefor they are not mine they are JKRowling's.**

**A/N2: If you want to add these to your C2 or website or whatever. Feel free to just let people know that it was me that wrote them. (Or a link would work just the same :P)**

J- (walks over to Lily carrying a Lily of the Valley)  
L- (starts sneezing) You do realize I'm allergic.  
J- You're allergic to your namesake?  
L- (between sneezes) No, I'm allergic to you.

* * *

**(In notes and roses)****  
J- (sending a bouquet of roses with one felt rose)  
Lily, I will love you until the last rose dies. Love James  
L- (sending felt rose back)  
Hopefully this will speed up the process a bit.**

* * *

J- Evans, I've decided to be nice and tutor you in transfiguration. After all, I am top of the class.  
L- Potter, get your head examined. I'm second in that class. I don't need help.

* * *

**J- Evans, Hogsmeade weekend. I'll meet you at the front gate Saturday, ten o'clock. What do you say?  
L- Sorry? Me no speaky engrish. Me no understand.**

* * *

J- Evans, I've transfigured your owl into a shrubbery. If you want him back, you must agree to go out with me.  
L- Nice try Potter, but I don't own an owl.  
P- (comes in looking confused) Has anyone seen Mr Kringle? He's not in the owlry.  
L- I'm sure Pettigrew will take you up on your offer to get his owl back.

* * *

**(In notes and a box of chocolates)****  
S- (pretending to be James)  
Lillian, my dearest, darling flower,  
These chocolates are almost as sweet as you. Maybe once you eat them, you'll see me in a new light.  
Your very whipped slave, James**

**L-  
Black,  
My name is Lily Evans. It is not, nor has it ever been, Lillian or flower. Also, you would do well to remember that love potions are against school rules. I've given the chocolates to Professor McGonagall for inspection. Lastly, next time you pretend to be Potter, could you at least try to disguise your handwriting?  
Evans**

* * *

J- (Wearing a full suit of armour) Let me be your knight in shining armour, Evans.  
L- Go jump in the lake Potter.  
J- But I'll sink straight to the bottom with this on.  
L- Please don't try to get my hopes up.

* * *


End file.
